Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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