I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
