so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
