nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
