if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
