they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
