worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
