At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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