shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
