Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
