Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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