we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
