grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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