meet me or not, i'm out of control
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
