This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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