i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
