stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
