your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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