just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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