69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
