I hate your face
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
