Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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