I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
