I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
