Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
