do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
