do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
