Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
