can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
