I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
