I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
