Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
