i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
