i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
