Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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