put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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