ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
