I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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