Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
