Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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