I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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