I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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