i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
