Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
