Buhtt sex?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The air was thick with penises
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My life is pants optional.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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