i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
