God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
