SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
