So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
