Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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