How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
