we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
